Ask the person who died living, “was it worth it?”

Stump

You threw attraction at me and I wasn’t able to immediately acknowledge it.

You see, I am new to this though I am old.

You were the first to step up to me like that and I got confused.

But though I was in a daze, the seed you carelessly threw grew.

I too liked you.

But I had to cut down the sprout for you and I must never be.

However, the sprout I knowingly brought down has roots that are too deep to be uprooted.

So what I have in my heart right now is a mere stump with roots that make it ache in your remembrance.

-babumonang-

9-23-17

Heaven

See you in heaven,

Coz’ in this life I cannot.

Hope heaven exists.

-babumonang

Destination

I love riding buses when travelling long distance. You sit on big comfy chairs by the window listening to very good music whilst watching places and people you have passed by. 
Then you would be reminiscent about the past and plan for the future. Think about previous attractions, dwell with what-ifs and just basically let your mind wander to anything and everything. There is a sense of zen to it. Hahaha. It is like a form of meditation and a good place for coming up with realizations. 
That is what i most love about that, the realizations. So when you alight from the vehicle, you had that sense of a different you because of new outlooks and perspectives. 
Those are why I love these rides. Do you feel the same way too? 

Suspended

January 10, 2017
Today. 

Again, it is today. 

Another day that is going to be spent in nothingness and inactivity.

This is my dilemma after graduating.

The sense of being purposeless and the feeling of unease.

This is because i am jobless.

I need a job.

Badly at that.

A Twisted Flattery

 

Kill me! But let it be known to you that one of my regrets in this life I have lived thus far will be that when you do kill me I would be one of the reasons that would lead you to crackle in the pits of hell.  Kill me now and your heart will be ecstatic with the misdeed that you have committed but be reminded that when the cloak of death has covered your mortal body, this sin you will commit shall not be buried along with your carcass, it never shall be forgotten.

More than a hundred folds you shall suffer for every crime you have executed and this act that you are willing to commit will be suffered by you a hundred folds more than I will suffer today.  Will your imposition of my death really be worth your unimaginable future agony and torture? You flatter me if you consider me that precious. I will not bid you to think twice. For this compliment, I am truly honored. If you must, kill me!

 

3-5-14

-Babu Monang-

Void

I can feel the world breathing life to its beings, slowly revolving giving light and darkness for them to exist. I can see them beings dream, reach, live and grow. And as every passing second that the clock ticks I can see them feel, smile, stumble, pick themselves together and continue moving forward. I watch them like I am detached from the world I speak of, that is all that I do, spectate. In awe, I observe like I am not part of the world, like I am afloat and drifting above. In painstaking slow silence, I watch as lives unfold before me. Too fast, too fast for me to fathom.

I know that I am also a being of the world yet why then can I not feel the energy of life it is breathing? Unlike them other beings, I do not dream I just exist, I do not aspire I just unfeelingly move. I am vacant, I am hollow, I am living yet dead, I am void.

In every waking moment, I feel stabbing pain in my chest like there is a slow timid pointy drumstick beating my heart heavy, numbing it so it cannot feel but the feeling of sadness and darkness. I struggle every day fighting grief by mimicking the others I am with. There are rare days that I forget the ache but more days I amplify the throbbing vacancy of feelings. It cannot be refuted that I exist yet truly not living. Yet,

 

 

Despite the shadows that lay,

A seed of hope still stay

That one day a hand will tend

To make true what is pretend.

 

 

 

 

-Babu Monang-

6 – 2 – 14 / 11:39 PM

 

I wrote this during my period of depression.

Now, I’d like to think that I am “a former pessimist and a struggling optimist”. =)

Transient

Eyes of naivety

Magnet of anxiety

Stalked by partiality

Clinging to security

Possessed by consciousness

Ecstatic with awareness

Disheartened by helplessness

Vowed for worthwhileness

Toiled with assiduousness

Life of conscientiousness

Realm of unfairness

Reveries to bleakness

Squandered thy vitality

Reminiscing with animosity

Breathed with torpidity

Remorseful to antiquity

-Babu Monang-

Hearse

Black vehicle of sorrow

A chance for a brighter tomorrow

An afterlife of promises

Or were it all illusions that will vanish?

To mount the mobile deathbed

One must first be tested

Are you shallow breathing?

Or are you through with respiring?

Out by the window are prowlers who wallow

Engined box stalked by weeping of its shadow

Unbothered by the souls that fall

Its wheels continue to leisurely roll

Arriving at its destination

You who boarded with qualification

Are you alighting from the front passenger seat?

Or are you being vertically dragged from behind that seat?

-Babu Monang-

March 22, 2014 – 1:49 am

What I got from Daniel Quinn’s “Ishmael”, a fish in his ocean:

 

There is fundamentally wrong with man.  Man came to become man through the process of evolution.  There are two general classification of man: the Leavers who believe that man belongs to the world and relies on its bounty for survival and the Takers who believe that the world belongs to man and believe that man must rule the world and must not be dictated nor be limited by the world.

Originally, all of man was all Leavers who are necessarily hunter-gatherers.  The division of these classes came to upon the discovery of the Takers of agriculture.  The Takers grew their own food resulting to their population growth which prompted them to expand their land by forcing the Leavers out of their own.

People of today are all descendants of these Takers and are themselves Takers except for a dwindling number of Leavers still unsoiled by Taker-thinking who are located on mountains and other obscure places.

It is said that today’s people, the descendants of the Takers, don’t know how they ought to live because there is an unavailability of this knowledge.  The Taker people then are using the trial-and-error method in figuring it out as evidenced by the frequent rise and subsequent fall of various tribes, cultures, religions and civilizations in the far-past called history until they arrived at today’s lifestyle or way of living which stood longer than the others they have tried.

Today’s way of life is being profoundly accepted and believed to be the true and proper way of living but is in fact a free-fall waiting to meet ground.  Today’s norm and culture, which was birthed thousand years ago, has and is continuously ruining Mother Nature because of the lack of the proper knowledge of how people ought to live.  Said information was lost or appropriately termed, buried ten thousand years ago by the discovery of agriculture that spawned population growth and corollary thereto food shortage which is answered by additional production.  Every increase in food production leads to an increase in population.  This principle is still in effect in today’s status quo where surplus productions of First World farmers are fueling the Third Worlds’ population explosion.

I am of the opinion that the author does not really want us to go back to our primitive ways but rather to point out that our current civilization is damned (forgive the dramatics).  I would suggest that we find a balance between the Leaver and Taker philosophy.  We need a way to suckle the bounties of nature sans sucking the life out of it.

 

-Babu Monang-

March 15, 2016 – 1:20 pm